FABB WOMEN#01: 宮下ひかりさん「子どもや夫を『できない理由』にしない」


fabulous【素晴らしい!】を強調)として独自にピックアップし、定期的にご紹介します。   長野市内在住。夫、長男(小1)、次男(1歳)の四人家族の宮下ひかりさん。 NPO法人マドレボニータ事務局として在宅で仕事をされています。他の社員は東京近郊にいるため、業務連絡などはメールで行い、打ち合せはスカイプを使っているそうです。  

退職後、ブランクが1年しかないのに自信喪失

早稲田大学卒業後、長野県の民放放送局に就職しました。アナウンス部を希望していましたが総合職として入社しました。希望する部署ではなかったのですが、いくつかの部署を経験した後、ラジオ制作に携わったり、報道記者として現場に出ることもあり、充実した毎日を過ごしていました。 社内結婚後に夫の東京転勤が決まり、私は仕事を続けたかったので遠距離結婚生活を過ごしていました。妊娠を期に「出産後は専業主婦を楽しもう!」と心に決め、退職を選びました。退職と共に夫の赴任先に引っ越したのですが、知り合いがいなかったのでマドレボニータの産後教室やNECワーキングマザーサロンに参加してママ友を作りました。 ママ友と出かけたり、話をしている時間は楽しく過ごしました。 でも、ふと気が付いたんです。 「彼女たちは育休中。戻れる場所がある。でも私にはそれがない!」と。 放送局時代はそれなりに経験をさせてもらってはいましたが、手に職はないからつぶしが効かないんです。退職して1年しかたってないのに自分のキャリアの無さに愕然としました。 そのときに「働きたい!」という思いが生まれました。  

女性が働きやすい環境

マドレボニータでは産後女性のためのヘルスケアプログラムを開発・普及活動を行っています。産後のカラダとココロのリアルを社会に伝えよう!というキャッチフレーズのもと、受講者を対象にアンケートを行い、産後における専門的なケアの必要性を広く社会に伝えるため、「産後白書」を制作しています。   %e5%ae%ae%e4%b8%8b%e3%81%95%e3%82%93%ef%bc%88%e7%94%a3%e5%be%8c%e7%99%bd%e6%9b%b8%ef%bc%89   子どもを保育園に預けて本格的に就職先を探しはじめた矢先の2011年3月に震災がありました。子どもを預けて電車に乗って仕事に行く・・・その時にもし震災が起きたら…そう考えると「子どものそばで働きたい」という思いが沸き上がりました。 このとき、2011年4月発行の産後白書2の制作に関わっていたことからマドレボニータ事務局スタッフとして働くようになりました。  

「○○ちゃんママ」と呼ばれない自分のコミュニティがほしい

マドレボニータは子どものいる女性が働きやすい考え方が沢山あります。 一番は在宅で仕事ができること。転勤族の妻としては、夫がどこに転勤しても仕事を続けられることは重要です。子どものいる女性スタッフが多いので、一人で仕事を抱えない考え方が根底にあるのは助かりました。ワークシェアをしていると子どもの急な発熱や行事があっても休みやすいです。 転勤族の妻は自分のケアができません。夫は職場、子どもは園や小学校など新しいコミュニティができます。妻は家族のサポートを優先してしまうので、自分のコミュニティを作ることは後回し。でも自分に仕事があれば新しいコミュニティができます。「○○ちゃんママ」からの卒業ができるんです。  

母親は子育てに専念するべき!からの脱却

夫は同じ大学、同じ職場、同じように働いてきたので、稼げないと一人前じゃないと思っていました。稼げていないことにコンプレックスを感じて、「働きたい!」と。でも義母は「母親は子どものために生きるべし」という考えだったので、子どもを預けて働くなんて言語道断。とても言えるような状況ではありませんでした。 だから夫も、子どもが生まれたら子育ては母親がするものと考えていました。 マドレボニータと出会っていなかったらどうなっていたことか。マドレボニータの産後白書3の制作に関わりパートナーシップについて学ぶことができました。パートナーシップのあり方はカップルの数だけあります。夫婦の問題を語ることはタブーとされがちですが、語ることで「悩んでいるのは一人じゃない」ということが分かり、抱え込まないようになりました。  

家族だからこそコミュニケーションが大事

子どもが年中になった頃には夫が変わったんです。家事を分担してくれるようになったり、時間が合えば保育園まで迎えに行ってくれたり、ちょっとしたことでも子育てに関わってもらえると嬉しいですね。 その頃から私の考えも変わってきました。 子ども・・・夫もそうですが、何を考えているのか、本当にわからないんです。相手を知るためにはコミュニケーションが大事だと気付きました。そのためには家族と一緒に過ごす時間を作りたい。 稼ぐことを諦めたわけではありませんが、今は、子どもとかかわる時間を大切にしています。よく「男の子は話をしない」と言われますが、長男は小学校のことをよく話してくれるんです。  

子どもや夫を「できない理由」にしない

仕事を辞める時に「やめたくない」気持ちがあったので「逃げ出した」と思うときもありました。 いま考えれば、すぐに結論を出さず、自分の働きたいペースを柔軟に考える時間を作っても良かったなと思います。 妊娠中は体調もよく普段通りに働きたいと思っても仕事をセーブされることがありました。上司の配慮だとは思いますが、戦力外通告をされたようで疎外感を感じました。「私はこうしたい」「これならできます」と伝えることができなかったので居づらさを感じたのだと思います。  

自分が「どうしたいか」考える

いま、退職や転職を考えている方には、自分がどうしたいのかよく考えて、納得した選択をしてほしいです。やりたいことがあるのに、子どもがいるから…夫が転勤族だから…と言うのは、できない理由を探していることになります。できないことが増えると辛くなりますよね。お母さんがつらいと家族もつらくなります。 これからも家族が笑顔で過ごすために「自分はどうしたいのか」を考えて働いていこうと思います。  

ある日のタイムスケジュール

時刻 すること
6:00 起床
7:30 長男登校(小学生)
8:30 次男登園(保育園)
家事
10:00 仕事開始
16:00 仕事終了
17:00 長男お迎え
17:30 次男お迎え
家事
22:00 就寝
  NPO法人マドレボニータについて: http://madresbonitas.strikingly.com/   あなたの周りの素敵な生き方をしている女性をご紹介してください。 ご連絡はこちらより。]]>

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